BoyLac's 65th on the 27th

Papa BL would have been 65 last November 27 if he was still with us. Actually, he's still with us in spirit and this was prevalent on two instances during his special day. Last November 27, we had a mass celebration offered for him. That was followed by a simple breakfast with family and very close friends. And then these two coincidences happened:

(1) Atching Milagring
After breakfast at my parent's place, we went to my in-laws place and my wife realized that she forgot her purse so I had to go back. Upon reaching my parent's place, mother was about to drive 70+ yr old Atching Milagring, our neighbor to her place about a block away. Mother had some more guest so timing was just right and I dropped our neighbor to her place.

(2) GOA Surprise
I had to attend to a few chores that day before going back to Manila. I probably worked on 3 chores which covered close to 2 hours before my visit to the Garden. When I reached the site, lo and behold, mother and her guests were outside and can't get in the mausoleum because she can't find her keys. They didn't know that I was going to visit Papa.

Talk about concidence. Or is it Papa BL's handiwork? I wouldn't know. Love you, Papa.

Dreamt of My Pare

Brown Mitsubishi Mirage. Orange Toyota Supra. Green John Deere tractor. Yellow Willy's jeep. These were the vehicles found in our garage during my dream.

Last Sept 14, I dreamt of my father BL. It was my first dream that I heard his voice again since April 2008 days before he passed away. The location was in my parents house. We were in the garage and he put his arms on my shoulder and we walked to the adjacent garden. Miss you BL.

Papa Not a Car Lover

Papa BoyLac often uses BL as a code for himself. BL was the antithesis of a car lover. He was the epitome of what a car user should not be. It’s not that he hates cars but it’s just that the feeling is not mutual when it comes to him and cars. To name a few examples:
1- Our cars would often get into car trouble which shows lack of preventive maintenance. I recall most if not all of our cars had overheating problems.
2- The gas tank reads empty often in contrast our current practice of keeping the tank full at all possible times.
3- He brings our cars to the farm. It goes without saying that cars are not made for farms.

His affiliation with cars ends where his immeasurable love for his family starts. Here are four stories that I vividly recall about my father, the not-so-car-lover:

1986 Transhow in Manila
The affair was the 1986 Transhow in PICC, Manila. It was my first car show and a car nut like me was definitely excited. I was a sophomore in high school then and during those times, going to Manila on a weekend was a rarity because of the travel time and the condition of our car. The highlight of the show was the entry of fellow Tarlaqueno Boy Romero, a 1979 red Mitsubishi Lancer which was re-branded as a Dodge Colt. While Cong Boy Romero’s car was the Best in Show winner then while my father BoyLac won the best father of the year that in the eyes of a 14 year old car lover from Tarlac writing this entry.

’81 Toyota Corolla DX
In my earlier entry, I mentioned about the family owning an ’81 Toyota Corolla DX. Just like any normal car, the car’s oil need to be changed and some parts just wear off. Quite a few times, we did the oil change by ourselves. In one of the occasions when we had car problems specifically the clutch system, BL and I decided to buy a clutch cable from the friendly auto supply and attempt to play mechanic and replace it ourselves. It was a major father-and-son bonding time. It took us the whole day to try and fix it but in vain. So we ended up going to the mechanic and have the cable installed. While it was a frustrating experience, we had fun trying. The realization was to leave the complex stuff to the experts.

Ford F150
The year was 1997 and the Ford F150 just released. It was the all new truck that everybody wanted to have and timed with the re-launching of Ford Motors Philippines. Coming from Tarlac, BL and I went to Ford Pampanga out of a whim. The truck retails for P1,2M then and we were entertained at the showroom by no less than the manager.
The funny story was that Pa and I were talking about how much gas that thing consumes and the accommodating manager then said that if you had money to buy a P1,2M truck then you won’t mind the gas consumption. The manager was probably right but then again, if you bought an F150 for over a million then, you’d be lucky if you sell it for P300K nowadays. What’s important is that father and son had fun going to that trip in Pampanga and that was actually one of my first few lessons in practical living.

Kennedy Jeep - M151 MUTT
We both shared the dream of building a four wheel drive that we can use in the farm. My father who is a green thumb loves the farm. Growing up, we had a green MacArthur M38 jeep which was used in the farm. We got fascinated with a jeep called Kennedy and that prompted our search for the M151 MUTT military jeep. The search brought us to the provinces of Pampanga, Nueva Ecija and places in Tarlac. The unfinished project jeep had a Toyota 4K engine but the body, suspension, transmission and drivetrain essentially the same. The Kennedy Jeep was driven off road a lot and I mean a lot. Even if there where paved roads going to the farm, we opted for less friendly roads so we can test the limits of our toy. I think we spent over P100K then for something that was sold for less than P50K but it was fun. Memories such as those are priceless.

While Papa was NOT a car lover but he loves his family so much. And I think in the end, that’s what matters and that is what made him special.

BoyLac's Birthday

Papa would have celebrated his 63rd birthday today if he didn't take the eternal vacation in May 2008. While we are confident that his destination is the paradise in heaven, we continue to pray for the eternal repose of his soul. Happy Birthday, Papa! We love you. And we miss you.

Papa Boy's last 5 messages to B5

My father was very thoughtful. While they were based in the US, he regularly sends text messages to his loved ones especially his first apo, B5. B5 fondly calls him ToyLac.

DATE / TIME / MESSAGE
17-Jan-08 / 1:10:14 / Happy birthday my dear B5! From papa n mama nette
13-Feb-08 / 20:14:29 / Hapi valentines our dear B5 and MC. We love you.
18-Feb-08 / 5:55:11 / Congrats again my dear B5. Keep it up ! Love u.
20-Feb-08 / 1:18:53 / Good afternoon B5. We are proud of you. Love u B5!
17-Apr-08 / 1:46:00 / Congratulations my dear B5 we are proud of you! We love you.

Miss Papa

Papa. Papa Boy. Papa Boo. BoyLac. ToyLac. Boy. Joe. Bok. Pare. Everybody special to him calls him different names.

A mass was offered to my father JPL Jr. last July 5 at Don Bosco Makati for his 14th month anniversary.

I shall visit him today (7/11) at the Familia Lacsamana mausoleum, Garden of the Asencion, Tarlac City.

A book that I read about grieving says that an average person grieves for 14 months.

My mother says to be thankful that he was a part of our lives for 36 years.

I love you and I miss you, Papa.

52 Pick-Up : May 5, 2008

"It's a good day to die" by Alan Raimy (played by John Glover) in the movie 52 Pick-Up. I remember one weekday afternoon in the mid 80s when my father and I watched the movie at my grandfather's house in Tarlac City. My father liked the movie and so did I.

A year ago, I got a text from my mother which reads "Papa is in d icu. Ask 4 prayers 4 him cal". We were on the last day of our family vacation then in Singapore and that text was not a fitting way to cap a trip.

Two days after we arrived in the Phils from SG, my sister and I were on a plane to DeLand Florida USA to see my father. It was my worse and best trip to the land of milk and honey. Worse because I'd be going there to face a situation that I feared all my life. Best because we (my mother, my sister and myself) were by his bedside when he passed away.

I dreaded the type of message that I received from my mother but I knew sooner or later I would receive that kind of message. It was just a matter of time. When my father passed away, it dawned on me the reality that life is not eternal in the world we live in. It's my father's 1st year death anniversary today (5/5).

Eternal rest grant unto the soul of my father Jose Jr. May perpetual life shine upon him. May he rest in peace. Amen.

MC's dream about Papa Boy

MC's dream about Papa Boy

One day in December, my daughter MC woke up and said "You know Dad, I dreamt about Papa Boy. We went fishing. He caught a big fish and I caught a small fish." To make sure that I heard the right story, I asked my wife to validate the story and MC just repeated the exact story. She followed up by saying that she misses Papa Boy. I miss my Papa too.

Happy Birthday Papa!

Hi Papa,

Sheng ri kuai le! That is Happy Birthday in Mandarin. You should have turned 62 years old today. I wonder if the age meter goes back to zero once you’re in eternal life. Judy went to mass today at Don Bosco Chapel in Makati. Of course, the mass was intended for you. We supposed to attend it after bringing Chloe to school however I was dead tired so she attended mass alone. I know in my heart that you were a good man during your mortal life and I hope that it gets acknowledged in your present dwelling place. I will continue to pray for your soul as long as I live. Please continue to watch over us and whisper to the BIG BOSS to guide us, keep us healthy, free from harm’s way and continue throwing us trials and challenges to make us better persons. Do visit us in our dreams so we’d know how you’re doing.

We love you and we miss you so much!

Your son, DyLac

My Fourth Dream about Papa

That I miss my father is an understatement to the infinite power. I dreamt about him again last night. It was the usual dream - I was talking to him and he was flashing his winning smile, the difference this time is that I got to hug him REAL TIGHT! He's always happy in all my dreams which makes me wonder if this is a sign that he's in heaven. I guess he is. I know he is. I pray that he is. I love you, Papa.

Death Becomes Him

Everybody is saying how year 2008 is a very lucky year. Olympics opened 8-8-08 and in the Chinese way of life, eight is a lucky number. Months in advance, event sites are booked because everybody wants a piece of triple 8.

While there are four and a half months before the lucky year 2008 ends and a lot of things may still happen, I've already concluded that it is a sad year for me. The untimely demise of my father due to a natural cause is a big blow to a closely knit family like ours. We relatively live a simple life, just enough monetary resource but overwhelming with love. I pray that the love strengthens with the loss of a pillar.

Happy Father's Day

Hi Papa,

I was in SG during the 3rd week of June, just a week after Father's day. This adage used as a window ad in Suntec City Mall caught my attention. It reads "My father taught me about life not with words but by how he lived his."

I wish I could say Happy Father's Day directly to you but I know you're in another universe right now. I hope they have internet in heaven and that you're reading this web log. I read in your diary that you consistently read my blog entries.

I miss you and I love you. Happy Father's day!

Your son, DyLac

A Bad Dream

When I was a teenager, I had a bad dream that my father passed away. I was bothered by that dream and the first thing that I did after waking up was call him. I was in college then in Manila and he was in Tarlac so I had to make a long distance call. While on the line, he said that it was just a bad dream, he was okay and that I should pray and everthing will be fine.

Fast forward to April 24, 2008, I received a text from Mama that Papa was in ICU because he had a stroke. After 12 days in the hospital, my almost 2 decade old dream became a very sad reality. I'll still hold on to Papa's bilin - that he's okay, I should pray and everything will be fine.

BoyLac's Stampita : A Perfect Match

While searching through a dozen choices for Papa's stampita, we chanced upon this very apt content. For me it was almost perfect. As if it was created specially for Papa and the situation.

Thank you God for lending to us my father BoyLac. We sorely miss him but we know he is in good hands.

**********

In Loving Memory Of Jose "BoyLac" Pasion Lacsamana, Jr.
November 27, 1946 - May 5, 2008

God saw you were getting tired,
And a cure was not to be.
So He put His arms around you
And whispered, "Come to Me."

With tearful eyes we watched you,
And saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.

Your golden heart stopped beating,
Your hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us,
He only takes the best.

DeLand, Florida, USA

BoyLac Wins : A Happy Competition

Since I’ve started making my own money more than a decade ago, I’ve viewed life as a competition with my father. I changed cars more often than him, my own house almost earlier than him, a better phone, dress better and higher monthly income.

CARS
My father had 5 car changes in 37 years and had the chance to own only 1 brand new car while I’ve had only 4 changes in 13 years with 2 of them brand new.

HOUSE
My father transferred to his “own home” at age 32 while I could have owned our own place earlier at age 27 but due to circumstances, had to forgo plans for our “dream house.”

PHONE
I practically replace phone once every 2 years. My primary phone is a high end Nokia and secondary phone is a Black Berry. The entry level phone that I use in the US is actually the same phone as my father’s primary phone.

CLOTHES
I’m into buying branded clothes but mostly on sale. My father is not particular about brands as long as he’s comfortable. He would rather buy clothes for his children and grandchildren than his own.

MONTHLY INCOME
I am an employee who has a stable income. The income is just right. My father on the other hand is a businessman with an erratic income. I’d kid him before that he’s a one day millionaire. And if he wins the lotto, we’d be poor after a day because he’s give everybody he meets a balato (tip).

It was a competition I was conscious about. I didn’t tell anybody about it though until his last days when I told my mother about my crazy practice. I’d like to believe that I’m leading in the material aspect of the game but at the end of it all, it was still my father who won the competition. His last few days as a mortal showed that he won in all fronts as there was a throng of family and friends who prayed, sympathized and supported the family. He was a better father, husband, brother, uncle, son, cousin, nephew, friend, neighbor and workmate than me. And the final score card showed that BoyLac leads by at least two decades.

EULOGY for my Father

EULOGY for my Papa, Jose P. L., Jr.
May 9, 2008
DeLand, Florida

May 22, 2008
Tarlac City, Tarlac

LIFE SUMMARY
My father, Jose L., Jr. was born on November 27, 1946 in Tarlac City, Philippines. His proud parents were Jose L. Sr and Gloria P. He was the 3rd in the family and his siblings were Aida, Pong, Suet, Dan and Reggie.

He married his high school sweetheart Charity in 1971 and they had two children, Dylan and Karen. He had 3 grandchildren who he adored so much - Kobe, Chloe and Karryna.

Most of his 61 year life was spent in Tarlac City. In 2005, they made one of the biggest decisions in their life and migrated to the US with the future of their children in mind.

While in the US, he told us tons of stories about work (Winn Dixie), travels, escapades, family, friends, neighbors, practically good stories about anybody and everybody because my father loved telling stories.

LAST DAYS
My father had a stroke last April 24, 2008. He had massive bleeding in head and the family was praying for a miracle so he'd recover and go back to normal life. After 9 days in the hospital, the doctor spoke to the family and delivered the sad news - that there was no hope for recovery and that we had to make the tough decision to remove the life support system. The next 3 days after the life support was removed was in fact more difficult for the family as we've already accepted the fact that he will be joining our creator soon but at the same time you see your loved one still suffering. Finally on May 5 at around 615PM, my father breathed his last breath with his wife and children by his side and holding his hands.

SORRY & THANK YOU
To Papa Boy, let me say my list of 'Sorry' and 'Thank You' for the last time.

1- I'm sorry that I sported a long hair when I was a teenager. I know you hated it.
2- I'm sorry for disrespecting you on occasions. I know I broke your heart and that you didn't deserve it.
3- I'm sorry for always being too busy.
4- I'm sorry that I did not give you enough time to talk to my kids, your grandchildren Kobe and Chloe. I know you adored them so much.
5- I'm sorry for not saying "I Love You" more than you want me to.

1- Thank you for holding my hands a lot when I was young.
2- Thank you for teaching me how to play basketball and watching me play games.
3- Thank you for teaching me how to drive, for telling me that doing 120 per hour alone in the car is ok but a no no if done with family members.
4- Thank you for taking me to car shows because you know how I love cars.
5- Thank you for always checking my whereabouts, to know if I arrived home safely.
6- Thank you for teaching me to respect every individual regardless of their social class.
7- Thank you for always being there when we need you, to listen to our problems and give advices.
8- Thank you for taking time out to bond with my children, for practically spoiling them.
9- Thank you for loving my mother and being faithful until the end.
10 - Thank you for being a very good son, brother, brother in law, husband, father, grandfather, cousin, uncle, friend, classmate. For generally being a very good person.

You exceeded our expectation. We will miss you. And we all love you.

To conclude this message, my father taught us that in life, it's not the amount of money that a person amasses in his lifetime that matters but the quality of life - the time that you spent with your family and the number of people whose lives you touched.

Thank you.

Jose P. L., Jr a.k.a. BoyLac

We LOVE you so much, Papa Boy!

- Dylan, Judy, Kobe, Chloe, Mama Nette, Boopie, Mark & Kimi