How to stop a bully

“You bullied me back in college.” I was appalled by this statement a few days ago when I came across an old acquaintance. Thinking about it, maybe I was bully, maybe I still am and probably every one of us experienced this at least once in our life whether as the bully-er or the bully-ee. Bullying comes in many ways; an older sibling throwing his might over a younger one, a tenured employee delegating his responsibilities to a newbie, an oversized kid overpowering a pint sized kid, the list goes on.

I’ve encountered bullies throughout my life and probably almost everyday. The earliest recollection was in grade school when as a pint sized kid, this overpowering, oversized, bird brained kid had a knack of head locking me. My mother wrote a letter to my teacher, the bullying temporarily stopped but continued after a few days, this time with a mama’s boy label. This bully who was always wearing oversized “short pants” or was it undersized “long pants” (laging bitin ang pants niya) finally stopped after I accosted him and shouted with all my might to stop bothering me.

Here are some anti bullying strategies that I employed that seemed effective for me:

1. Fight fire with fire. If he calls you names, throw your hat in the ring and call him names too. It’s always the case, good teasers easily gets teased. Ang pikon, talo. Give him a dose of his own medicine.
2. Buy his friendship. Befriend the bully and either tell him that there are other individuals he can bully or engage him in a responsibility that would keep him busy and not bother you.
3. Offer your other hand. If he teases you, laugh with him and offer him another funny part of you. If he sees he’s not earning your ire or his wicked ways is not effective, chances are, he’ll stop.
4. Tell the authorities. Assess the situation properly before employing this tip because it depends on the environment. If there are measures in place that will protect you, by all means report him to the authorities (like a superior, a teacher) however if you feel uncomfortable, trust your instinct and try another approach.
5. Ignore him. Pretend that he doesn’t exist. Chances are, he’ll get fed up doing his non sense thing and find another person to bully.
6. Shout to the top. As shared earlier, accost a bully. Without batting an eyelash, as serious as possible, shout to him at the top of your lungs, “Stop bothering me!”
7. Pray for him. Pray that he gets enlightened and channel his obnoxious ways into more productive means, like doing his assignments or focus on how to continuously improve his job.

The reality is that you’ll face a bully every point in your life so it’s best that you be always prepared. In general, you should be one step ahead of a bully to be able to stop one.